Rising Night: I'm not that Girl
by Les Miserabby
Summary: Songfic of characters from my Rising Night series. Don't read unless you've read Hollyleaf's Redemption, Moonkit's Prophecy, and Hopeflower's Path. T for Character death.


**Songfic featuring the following pairings: MoonXAshXHope, SpottedXFoxXSeal, and StarXLight. Song is I'm Not that Girl from Wicked.**

I'm Not That Girl

_Hands touch, eyes meet. Sudden silence, sudden heat..._

Spottedflower purred as she leaned against Foxleap. Sure, there was a war raging at the time, but they were currently safe in the ThunderClan camp. And more then that, they were in love. Nothing could come between them.

_Hearts leap in a giddy whirl..._

Hopepaw was stalking a mouse. She pounced through the ferns in pursuit of it, but missed and forgot about the mouse as she found herself suddenly nose-to-nose with Ashpaw. Her heart leaped and started to race.

The two pulled away quickly, both startled. She felt her pelt heat up. "S-sorry," she stuttered. "There was a mouse, I didn't realize you were on the other side of the ferns."

He lifted his paw to reveal the mouse. "No problem," he meowed.

_He could be that boy, but I'm not that girl..._

Light sighed. There no way that Star loved her. How could he? They were so different. He was perfect, and she was anything but. How could anyone love her? He deserved better. So she'd never tell him how she felt. Never.

_Don't dream, too far..._

Sealwhisker sighed and glanced away. Foxleap was in a different Clan. They didn't belong together. It was against the code. They would find SkyClan and bring them back to the lake, then she would never see him again, save for the inevitable battle.

_Don't lose sight of who you are..._

Moonpaw glanced at Ashpaw from across the clearing. She loved him, she really did. She had a strong feeling that he felt the same way. But the prophecy. Could she risk being distracted from it? She didn't know. She didn't want the prophecy, she only wanted Ashpaw.

_Don't remember that rush of joy..._

Light shook her head to clear it. She couldn't feel that way about Star. She couldn't let herself. She was better off alone. She saw him out of the corner of her eye walking towards her.

"Hey Light," he meowed, sitting beside her, close enough for their pelts to touch. "Are you all right?" he asked, concern in his voice.

"Yes, I'm fine," she whispered. She tried to push the joy away. She couldn't feel this way! It would only destroy her in the end. She couldn't bear the thought of heartbreak. She glanced at him, and their eyes met.

_He could be that boy, I'm not that girl..._

Spottedflower sighed. She loved Foxleap, he loved her. But the Dark Forest had somehow taken over her. They would force her to destroy not only him, but the others as well, whether she wanted to or not. Without her even knowing it, they had turned her into a weapon. She had to find someway to stop it.

_The spotted flowers will end the roaring lion, the sharp-eyed jay, and the dove's flight. _She wasn't sure how long she could fight the deadly prophecy that the Dark Forest had created. The prophecy was tormenting her.

A cat came up behind her, a Dark Forest cat, and she quickly struck it down. She then turned. The ThunderClan camp was there, right ahead of her. It would be easy. _I'm sorry Foxleap. I love you._ She then raced forward, straight over the edge. She was airborn for a moment, then plummeted down.

_Every so often we long to steal, to the land of what might have been..._

Hopeflower sighed and watched as her sister and Ashfire sat together, purring as they shared a rabbit. She turned her face away. After Sunshade's betrayal, the heart-ache caused by Ashfire picking Moonshine was only worse.

She often daydreamed about what would have happened if Ashfire had chosen her. He might have if she'd said something, instead of simply stepping aside.

_But that doesn't soften the ache we feel, when reality sets back in..._

She wasn't pretty. Light knew that, she was rather frightening at times to other cats when they saw her face. One ear shredded to the point of practically being torn off, yet it still somehow clung to her head. Her face was marred by a few scars, as was the rest of her once pretty light golden tabby pelt. Her white paws were nearly pink from being blood stained.

Star, on the other paw, was. His silver pelt was glistening, over his powerful muscles, which, in contrast to his small size, made him perfectly handsome. His blue eyes always shone.

For some reason, his eyes always shone brighter when she was near. She had to wonder why. She guessed it was because he felt sorry for her and was just trying to cheer her up and feel better about herself. After all, he couldn't possibly love _her_, could he?

_Blithe smile, lithe limb, she who's winsome, she wins him. Gold hair, with a gentle curl. That's the girl he chose..._

Hopeflower sighed and hung her head. Moonshine had won. Won a battle that she herself had decided it was useless to fight. She had stepped aside and let Moonshine win. Win a tom she had loved and cherished more than any other.

Maybe she was wrong about Sunshade. She doubted she was, but what harm could it do to see. Another cat could be the one in the prophecy. No. Sunshade was evil. Ashfire was the only one she loved. But Moonshine had him.

_And heaven knows, I'm not that girl..._

Light sighed and turned her face away from him. Star couldn't see her tears. He couldn't know. "I'm going hunting," she called before racing away. He couldn't see her like this, it would only make things worse for her.

_Don't wish. Don't start... _

Spottedflower sighed and turned her face away. She was happy for Foxleap and Sealwhisker. They belonged together. So she had to stop wishing that it was her down there with Foxleap. It would only hurt her more.

_Wishing only wounds the heart..._

Hopeflower sat alone. No. She couldn't love Ashfire any more. It would only cause her pain. Ashfire didn't love her. He loved Moonshine. He'd never loved her. It had been a hopeless fantasy she'd created in her mind out of hope and longing. It wasn't real.

_I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl..._

Light sighed as she looked at her reflection. She was a fighter. That was all. She wasn't the sort of cat who had kitten-tale endings. She fought. She didn't fall in love. She wasn't meant to. And yet she had. It was nothing more than a mistake, a silly hope. She and Star would never be together. It wasn't meant to be.

_There's a girl I know. He loves her so. I'm not that girl..._


End file.
